Monday, July 30, 2012

One More Thing I Hate

Sometimes I hate Facebook. I hate the political positioning and the religious shit. Hey man, I go to church, if that's what you're thinking. I just don't need to tell the rest of the world how to live their lives in order to be a good Christian.  These days, I cringe when I even hear the words ' a good Christian' because it's almost always followed by some judgemental shit about how other people should live.  These Facebook posts demand that other people to comply with their religious beliefs regardless of what anyone else's religious affiliations are.

Here I sit in my recliner, vaguely listening to drivel on TV, watching my son and my husband laughing as much as anything, and hoping to see something interesting about my friends and their families on Facebook since most of what's on TV bores me.  I like the silly pictures on Facebook the best.  I have one friend, an acquaintance really, and I love her posts because they're almost always of funny animals she takes care of all day.  I mean, these pictures give lolcats a run for their money.   I always want to know where people went, though I'm jealous as hell of my friend who's in Paris right now.  Paris!  And she's posting in French!  I'm not even sure I can like her until she gets back.  I won't tell her that though.  I just need a vacation and then I might be able to be a little nicer afterward.  I mean, really.  Talking about a good vacation we took to Ireland six years ago just gets a little old at dinner parties.

But it just torques my wad when I have to wade through some friend's repost telling me that my son shouldn't eventually get to decide whom he loves and wants to marry. This isn't even a post that my friend wrote!  It's a shit-ass post that she read and then she blithely clicked on the 'like' button and now I'm stuck reading at least a little of its bilge water.  After a while, I get a little nauseated when I even see her name pop up.  I know I will never completely block her though I seldom see anything but this crap on her timeline.  Really, hon, don't you know that I want to see pictures of your kids and those kittens that you're raising and not political and religious crap that makes me feel as though you really are a little on the edge?  Are you on the edge?  Can I do anything to help? 

I don't foist my political or religious opinions on you, do I?  No.  I don't.  I just went back and checked.  When I like a political repost that someone else has liked, it doesn't show up on my timeline.  Most of my posts are photos of my family.  Jack is old enough now that I'm asking his permission to post his image.  I don't want to put up anything that will embarrass him.  That will happen soon enough with his friends.  My other posts are check-ins telling people about the places I visited and liked.  Hell, I don't mind advertising a good restaurant or museum.  Sky High?  Your kid can get some exercise jumping on a trampoline.  The Reptile Zoo?  Who wouldn't want to see a two-headed turtle?  Novhilos Brazilian Steakhouse?  It's a carnivore's dream.

But you, my Facebook friends, do not need to know that I think that homosexual adults deserve a break from our scrutiny.  I would rather not drive my political opinions across the dead carcass of yours on the information highway or vice versa.  And no, I'm not interested in imagining homosexuals having sex in their bedrooms.  I'm also not interested in imagining two heterosexuals having sex in their bedrooms.  Have you seen most people?  Do you really want to imagine that naked and sweaty?  It's not going to look the way they make it look in a movie.  I just think that if two adults love each other, they should be allowed to love each other.  Period.

I've heard people cite the billions of dollars gay marriage would cost our society.  Those statistics are bullshit.  And tell me, what would it save if none of that hate-mongering sputum were ever printed on paper or took up bandwidth on the Internet?  Trillions.  Besides, I've watched your kids.  You don't make them wear their helmets.  There are statistics about how much that costs our society too, so shut it. 

Lately, these reposts are turning words inside out by calling for 'tolerance,' 'democracy,' and 'diversity' when it comes to their opinions.  So vote your according to your stupid opinion and leave me to mine, okay?  That is democracy at its best.  As for tolerance, I have to tolerate your crazy ideas, but you don't have to tolerate mine?  Nope, not the appropriate definition there, hon.  Tolerance has to go both ways to really be tolerance.  And diversity?  Well, I have to live in a world in which  6,973,738,433 crazy people live, people who believe that aliens live on an asteroid hurtling toward Earth, people who believe that gargling Listerine gave their son colon cancer, people who think they have a right to be in everyone's pants politically, and the ones who just want to be left alone to love one another.  Now, that's diversity and you might scream for it as you demand that everyone comply to your will, but there it is and you can't change it, not even by reposting phlegm on Facebook. 

Thank you for listening, jules

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