Friday, October 19, 2012

Wicked and Heart-Pounding

So what's the soundtrack to your life? 

Most of the time, I hear the world, birds chattering, the bus grinding, people talking to me, the dog groaning.  It's usually a pretty quiet life but I don't get to tune out. 

Today, I've got Pandora blasting in my ear.  I want to tune out to loud and fast.  I know it won't help my deafness, but I'm already half deaf.  What's a little more?  You know those kind of days.  It feels as though my life is a movie and I'm just a character in it.  I know that's twisted, but bear with me.  I'm wading through the past few days on three or four hours of sleep and by now, I'm kind of punchy.  So, I'm playing my role according to my personal soundtrack as refereed by Pandora. 

The problem I'm having is that the music it's selecting for me keeps getting slower and slower.  I've picked Jason Mraz to start.  That shouldn't be a butt dragger, but each successive song just drags slower and slower.  I wish I could go back and see a list of what I liked.  Pandora, did you hear that?  I want to be able to buy stuff that I liked.  Are you seeing dollar signs yet?  You should be.  And pick up the pace while you're at it.

Hey cool, I just saw the history part of my Pandora.  At least I can see what I liked the best.  At least I'm not a total moron.  I didn't see a way to pay for a download, though.  Hey, Pandora, I'm standing down here at the end of the bar with a twenty dollar bill flying in the air.  You want to sell me a beer, or what?

Hell, I just started a new track with Pearl Jam as the starting point.  Better.

Can't I send a code word to them? 


Okay, now I've graduated to two word descriptions.

Slower.  And.  Slower.  And grinding to a halt.  What do you think I should start with to get the pace moving?

After a while Pandora doesn't let you skip tracks.  Why the hell not?  You know, don't you Pandora, that I'm just going to turn the damn thing off after a while if you're trying to make me listen to stuff I don't like?

They've taken all the old fogey songs from Pearl Jam and Nirvana and are throwing them at me like a bone.  Red Hot Chili Peppers is stepping it up, but I liked the vocalist for Pearl Jam better. 

Oh, so now I'm suddenly a music critic?  Lame.

All right, I'm off to my next thing like I'm ticking of items on a list.  We've moved onto Audioslave's 'Show Me How to Live.'  Cool.  I like the bass line.  It's still not heart-pounding, but I'll live up to their geriatric view of the world if I need to.  I have to go make pie. 

It's going to twist my mind around, making pie to 'Metallica.'  No, I should not be listening to nice music for making pie.  I'm not making ordinary pie.  I'm going to make wicked good pie. 

Adios amigos!

Thank you for listening, jules 


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