Today, my Dove chocolate horoscope told me to 'love every moment.' I love my Dove chocolates, but I do not 'love every moment.'
I do not love when I have to make ultimatums to my son Jack to do what he's done every night by himself when he was four, brush his teeth.
I do not love the time I spent on the phone with a surly employee at Chase who didn't want to bother getting my name right on the documents for our refinance. We were supposed to go through the entire document crossing out the incorrect name and putting in the correct one.
I do not love finding out that we would actually be paying off $16,000 more than we currently owe if we refinance our loan. Tell me, just how did that work out that way? We're not getting a check for $16,000 in the deal. We're not raising our interest rate. Somebody please explain just what happened with that one.
Oh right. Is that why they were in such a hurry to get us to sign?
I did not love that every time I tried to look at my dog Teddy's foot he yelped as though I was the one hurting him. I didn't see anything. I really didn't, but who could see when the dog kept yanking his foot out of my field of vision. I do not love that I'm going to have to take him to the vet just to find out what's wrong with his foot. Maybe Mike can hold him while I look. Either way, it'll involve a lot of yelping.
Speaking of 'field of vision,' I did not love having to get down on my hands and knees at the grocery store so that I could actually see the writing on the empty slot for the type of vitamins I wanted. You'd be thinking I need vitamin A for my eyes. You'd be wrong. I needed chewable sunshine, vitamin D.
So, I'm going to leave you with your happy moments, chewable sunshine blowing up your skirt as you kneel in the grocery store in the form of a hidden $16,000 bill and someone yelping in your one good ear. I'm not claiming these moments for my happy-time scrapbook. You can have them.
Thank you for listening, jules
I do not love when I have to make ultimatums to my son Jack to do what he's done every night by himself when he was four, brush his teeth.
I do not love the time I spent on the phone with a surly employee at Chase who didn't want to bother getting my name right on the documents for our refinance. We were supposed to go through the entire document crossing out the incorrect name and putting in the correct one.
I do not love finding out that we would actually be paying off $16,000 more than we currently owe if we refinance our loan. Tell me, just how did that work out that way? We're not getting a check for $16,000 in the deal. We're not raising our interest rate. Somebody please explain just what happened with that one.
Oh right. Is that why they were in such a hurry to get us to sign?
I did not love that every time I tried to look at my dog Teddy's foot he yelped as though I was the one hurting him. I didn't see anything. I really didn't, but who could see when the dog kept yanking his foot out of my field of vision. I do not love that I'm going to have to take him to the vet just to find out what's wrong with his foot. Maybe Mike can hold him while I look. Either way, it'll involve a lot of yelping.
Speaking of 'field of vision,' I did not love having to get down on my hands and knees at the grocery store so that I could actually see the writing on the empty slot for the type of vitamins I wanted. You'd be thinking I need vitamin A for my eyes. You'd be wrong. I needed chewable sunshine, vitamin D.
So, I'm going to leave you with your happy moments, chewable sunshine blowing up your skirt as you kneel in the grocery store in the form of a hidden $16,000 bill and someone yelping in your one good ear. I'm not claiming these moments for my happy-time scrapbook. You can have them.
Thank you for listening, jules
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