Sunday, August 3, 2014

Accidentally Watching Inappropriate Stuff With My Mother

Bitches Gotta Eat - Oh my God, this is funny!

I don't even need to write anything. I can just sit here and point you in the right direction and enjoy the ride. I wish I could look over your shoulder and laugh at the parts that are making you laugh.

Don't post it to your Facebook friends if you're worried about what people think of you. Don't let your kids see what you're reading.

Don't you just love when your kid is watching cartoons on TV and you're sitting at the computer, laughing about inappropriate stuff? You tell them not to use those words. You change the channel when anything regarding sex or violence comes on the television. Tell me you aren't completely weirded out when you're sitting on the couch as a family and a sex scene comes on the TV. You are. Admit it.

I just remember when I was sixteen and my mother suggested a movie, an R-rated movie. My brother and I went to that movie. It was the last time I went to the movies with my mother. It was a misery. I wish I didn't remember. There was a closeup of her breast in the bra, his hand, her naked chest. Oh crap, stop me now. I didn't dare look at either of them. I stared into my bucket of popcorn and pretended we were at a horror movie.

We were at a horror movie.

And now, I have a thirteen year old boy. He won't even watch the kissing scenes when I am in the same room with him.

What would he think if he knew I was laughing at inappropriate shit on the computer?

He would die a million deaths.

Thank you for listening, jb

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