Monday, March 24, 2014

It Could Have Been Funnier

You do not want to know what's happening with my boy. He's asleep now, but he could have tried out for the part at the beginning of 'Pitch Perfect' where the singer got too nervous. Nick called it 'cannon puking.' Yes, you're right. That was TMI.


Why is it so funny in the movies, but so disturbing when it's your own kid?

I've finally graduated.

When I was a kid, I was a sympathetic puker. That one kid would vomit and the teacher would send her to the nurse. Then, the janitor came to clean it up, only instead of getting right to it, he'd put cat litter on it and leave the room for a while before he came back with the mop and a bucket of dirty water.

I just could not hold it down most of the time. The smell filling the room was the worst, even if they opened the windows. It was never enough and my gag reflex got to working. It took incredible focus to keep looking at the subtraction problems on the mimeographed sheet in front of me while breathing through my mouth. Sometimes, I could hang on, but then some other kid would start gagging and all it took for me to get going too was to see that movement in the second kid's mouth or hear the gulping sound.

Nauseated yet?

So, I'm getting better at this mom thing because today, I could barely feel that gag reflex when Nick was doing his cannon puking. Thankfully, it didn't smell too bad. I'm sure that helped a lot. But I was proud that I was able to get him a wet wash cloth and a clean bucket to trade. I managed to flush the liquid and throw out the slippery trash liner with barely an urp. I was proud that I could come back into the room, pat Nick on the back, tell him to let it all out, and then give him a glass of water to sip.

I did not join him in the fray. Sorry Hollywood. It could have been funnier.

But it wasn't.

Thank you for listening, jules

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