Thursday, March 13, 2014

Early Morning Cat Games

'Let's play the wake-the-human game,' the cat thinks. He jumps up onto the bed and purposefully steps on legs that are tucked under the covers as he crosses to the window. He circles once just to make sure the human registers his presence.

A moan comes out from the pile of bedding. Score.

He steps onto the window sill and bats at the thing that dangles from the shade. This has a double-benefit. It makes the dim light in the room waver and clicks as the plastic piece hits the wall.

Bingo. A hand comes out from the covers and swings around. Score again.

'Missed by a long shot,' he thinks of the human. The hand swings around again and drops next to the phone next to the bed. It finally catches the slow phone and the human clicks a button to see that it is indeed 5:42, a full eighteen minutes until it's supposed to buzz and chirp. The cat likes that the phone plays too, but hates when it wins.

The hand puts down the phone and tucks back under the covers. The cat walks across the pillow, gently placing each foot so close to the face the human can smell cat litter.

Another groan. Score.

Another swing and the human finally scores a point. The cat moves with the push just enough that he's slightly out of reach, but the human could feel the physical resistance to his pushing.

Then, the cat sits and stares at the back of a messy head for a full fifty seconds. The human can feel the effect of the eyes, some ancient predator thing. That head should be groomed. What a mess. The cat steps closer and pulls a strand of long fur through his teeth, gagging a little as he pulls on a knot. Surely the human will appreciate a little much-needed grooming.

Another groan. He knows it isn't from pleasure, but that satisfies him. His game is almost won.

The human sits up, slides her legs off the bed onto the cold floor and leans her elbows on her knees, contemplating the near space between them.

Three points. Game over.

Oh, there are other games to play, the loud-meow-at-various-times-in-the-darkness game, the kick-the-dog-off-the-couch game, the kick-the-dog-out-of-his-beds game, the keep-the-dog-from-eating game, the chase-me-poor-kitty game, and the sit-down-I-need-my-lap game.

Of all the games, this one is the best, by far.

Thank you for listening, jules

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