Condensed Nagging

Whose idea was it to give kids three months off from work in the summer? I'm not ready. I don't have a plan. I don't think I'll be able to stand listening to the TV for that many hours and days on end. I won't know what to do with my teenager if the TV does go off. I don't want to have to plan events, push reading, go to the grocery store with a bored teenager, or nag for fourteen hours a day instead of six.

Turn off the TV!
Take out the garbage.
Pick up your dirty dishes.
Don't hiss at the dog. (Yes, the poor dog cringes when he does that just to get a reaction.)
Brush your teeth.
Take a shower.
Use deodorant.
Don't call people an idiot.
Treat people the way you want to be treated.
Be the change you want to see.
Get ready to go to karate.
Get ready to go to Scouts.
Get ready to go anywhere (even stuff he wants to do).
Don't complain when someone is helping you.
Treat people with respect even if you don't like them.
Treat me with respect even though I'm your mom.
No, I am not embarrassing you intentionally.
Get your own glass of water.
Run a load of laundry if you don't like how I do it.
If you tear up the couch (the chair, the table, the computer, the wall), you'll have to buy a new one with your own money, the money I give you every week for no reason in particular.
Please vacuum the stairs.
Do your part.
Be a contributing member of the family.
I am not your slave.
Clean up your own mess.
If the cat pukes and nobody but you sees it happen but you, you get to clean it up.
Put your stuff away.
Move those things off the floor so you can open the bottom drawer of your dresser.
If you want that stuff that's been lying on the floor of your room for the past four months, you'll pick it up. Now.
Pick up your dirty clothes.
Get your dirty socks out of your karate bag. There are at least seven pair in there.
Don't leave your jock strap on the floor if you don't want the dog to roll on it.
If you wanted to keep that piece of paper, it shouldn't have been on the floor where the cat could chew it.
Why don't you read something?
Why don't you go outside for a while?
Why don't you practice your karate forms?
Why don't you build something?
Turn off the damn TV!

Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you.

Okay, I'm done saying 95% of what I'm going to say this summer. Can't I just print this up and give it to my boy and get back to reading my book?

Thank you for listening, jules