Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Psych 101

The lights are flickering.  News crews are reporting that a storm is coming. Oh, I can feel it. It's coming.

What happens when Mom stops cleaning up after her son? When I complain about the mess, my husband says, "He's a boy. It's in his DNA. You're going to have to stay on him until he's 18 and then, maybe, he'll get the message after he lives in a frat house for a year or two."

Well, today I'm doing an experiment in social behavior. I want to know what a boy will do when I stop hang up his towel, when I stop picking up stuff he dropped on the floor, when I stop turning off lights he turned on, when I stop throwing laundry into one of three laundry baskets in different rooms, when I stop cleaning up toothpaste that gets smeared on my stuff. To tell you the truth, I'm going one step further. What will my boy do when I leave my dirty clothes on the floor in front of the toilet, when I leave dirty dishes perilously close to his precious video game controller, or when put my books down on the two remaining seats in the house? What will he do when I inform him that I'm a kid and he gets to be Dad and pick up after me today?

Oh, there is a shit storm coming. I can see it on the horizon.

Will he clean up after me? He's going to have to do something so that he can get to the toilet, the refrigerator, the remote controls jammed down into the couch.  Plus, he's going to be informed that his friend can't come over on Friday afternoon until the house is picked up and vacuumed. 

See, I had to get the carpets cleaned a couple of weeks ago and I filled five boxes of stuff from the floor, the coffee table, and the dining table.  I put those boxes downstairs in a storage room and informed my boy that those boxes needed to be brought back upstairs and the stuff in them put away within a week. The boxes were brought back upstairs. They are sitting in the living room and his bedroom now, still filled to the brim with things he still likes. Oh, that rummage sale can't come soon enough. The thing that stinks is that he knows I'll rummage through those things and pull out the stuff he loves the most. I know I shouldn't and he knows I shouldn't, but we all know I will.

So maybe it will work for me to be the baby for a change and he's required to clean up my messes. Do you think he'll see my point and do a better job? I hope so, but to tell you the truth, I think there will be lightning and thunder. I think the power will go out for a while before the storm passes. 

Thank you for listening, jules

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