Thursday, June 21, 2012


I should be asleep. I'm not.

There are a whole world of 'shoulds' out there.  Here are some of mine:

I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn't.  That's why I'm here and not where I used to be.  Oh honey, I'll explain it later, but right now it's a secret.  Don't you just love secrets?  Well, the worst part about them is when you aren't in on it yet.  Don't worry, you will be.  You will be offered many, perhaps too many, secrets.  I won't tell you that my mother abused me, though, if that's what you're here to find out.  I'm much too mundane for that. 

I should have cleaned my house, but I didn't. Somehow whenever I try to clean something, twelve other things end up dirty in the process, like when I tried to give my dog a bath and he ended up shaking off five or six gallons of medicated dog water all over me, all over Jack, my son, and all over my house. 

I should be publishing something wonderful, but I'm not.  I write whatever I feel like writing.  Sometimes it surprises me. When I make those lists of stuff I should write, I end up avoiding them as if they are housework.

I should be a perfect little beanie of a smartie-pants, but I'm not.  I was pretty close when I was a kid, but that's gone.  Pregnancy does that.  Menopause does that.


Oh my God, a kid said that in my car the other day.  I nearly pulled to the side of the road, slowed down, and threw him out with the hand that wasn't driving.  What the heck is with kids these days?  This particular kid is not my favorite if I have to be honest.  My boy, Jack, is almost twelve and has been picking his own friends for a while now.  This kid barely hovers over juvenile delinquent in my book, but I'm not going to tell Jack he can't be friends with him.  I'll just keep the offers to drive to a minimum.  Really, this boy tore a door to a toilet stall off its hinges already.  He ditched Jack at a water park.  He has not made himself any parental allies in this family. 

I'm almost out of here for now.  I'll keep thinking about things that 'should' be.  That's an awful long and futile list, but it's one that's worth considering.  I wonder if whole areas of psychology couldn't be developed over that list of 'shoulds.'  Oh right, they have been.  They're called commercials.

Thank you for listening, jules

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